Monthly Archives: March 2015

Fat Isn’t An Insult Unless I Let It Be

Fat Isn’t An Insult Unless I Let It Be.


Fat Isn’t An Insult Unless I Let It Be

LeadershipOver the last week I’ve told lots of people about the Plus Size Belly Dance Convention and the Facebook group that started it.  Many were supportive.  These are the people who make it fun to do what we do.  Thanks y’all!

A few people tried to talk me out of saying that I’m plus sized.  As if saying that meant that I was accepting some kind of defeat.  For the record, plus sized and fat are not bad words in my vocabulary.  It’s like – tall or short, big or little, skinny or fat.  It’s just a descriptor to me, not a judgement of my character.

I do understand though that there are people who think that it IS representative of a weak character for anyone to be fat or call themselves fat. Our convention has had someone convey that they felt offended by our invitation, because they had tried very hard at weight loss and didn’t want to be associated with a plus size convention.  That makes me sad, because I wouldn’t want anyone singled out.

I’m not going to pass judgement or say anything about what the person might be thinking.  Most of us have body issues to deal with, if that’s their perspective, OK.

I just want people to know that the intent of the Dangerous Curves Plus Size Belly Dance Convention has always been to be inclusive of EVERY body.  Tall or short, fat or skinny, young or old, beginner or professional.  Or, somewhere in between which is where most of us are.

Love and Light,


Underpants Rule Limitations

Ragen Chastain is keynote speaker at the 2nd Annual Dangerous Curves Plus Size Belly Dance Convention!

Dances With Fat

Underpants RuleRegular readers of this blog will be familiar with The Underpants Rule. The Underpants Rule states that you are the boss of your underpants, other people are the boss of their underpants, and nobody is the Underpants Overlord – a full description can be found here.  It’s a shorthand that I use to discuss that fact that our personal choices should not be up for public debate.

Sometimes people get confused or conflicted about the extent of the Underpants Rule.  Reader Becky sent me the following question:

“I work in a bookstore and I’m conflicted every time someone wants a weight loss book. On the one hand: underpants rule. On the other: I just want to go Mr. Rogers on them (“I like you just the way you are!”) but without sounding like a creepy stranger or sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong. What are your thoughts…

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